A Crustworthy Source of Information.

In this day and age, it’s harder than ever to believe what you read in the media. Everyone seems to have their own agenda, whether it’s selling you something (by the way, PieMinister pies are only £7.99 at Tesco’s), fearmongering (pastry stocks may be depleted by 2020!!!!11!!!!), or good old fashioned clickbaiting (10 on fleek ways to eat a pot pie – number 6 is 100% lit).

What with the presidential support of fake news, lately it seems like news outlets are geared towards sensationalism rather than journalism, and in no arena is this more true than within pionic media.

The recent decline in quality of such Goliaths as The Daily Turnover and Fresh Pasty leaves many pierates wondering whether unbiased pionic news sources even exist these days. These once great newspapers seem to snub stories people are really care about, favouring unsubstantiated rumours about quiche infiltrating our nation’s pie factories.

Up and down the country – no, the world – people are crying out for a source of news they can put their faith in it. Dare I say it, they are clamouring for a crustworthy source of news.

But how can a person be sure that what they’re reading hasn’t been fabricated by a brown-eyed blogger in her twenties, trawling for likes? The only solution, it seems, is to be more widely read – unlike our parents’ generation, piellennials cannot be satisfied by one single paper or website. The consumer of pie-based journalism is compelled to devour many different sources in order to develop a more realistic picture of pie today.

The sad truth, however, is most people don’t have time to thoroughly research pie-based current events, obsessed as they are with “real” news that “actually matters” hasn’t been “made up by Rosie Daniels”.

It is a sad state of affairs indeed.